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The bus ride was so bad and uncomfortable it's become total comedy to me at this point. Thank God for books, music, and sedatives.
When my friends and I booked the bus from Vientiane to Hanoi we repeatedly asked the travel agent two questions. Is it a tourist bus meant for foreigners? Is there AC?
The answer to our questions was a resounding yes, but nothing is as it seems.
The bus came 30min late to pick us up from our Guest House near the Mekong River. At the time, aside from two other Irish girls, we were the only ones on the bus. We were able to pick our seats with lots of leg room and everything seemed hunky dory.
Then we drove to a nearby bus station where loads and loads of local Lao and Vietnamese people boarded the bus bringing with them every household appliance imaginable. Rice cookers, TVs, radios, electric fans, toilets, and even three wooden doors were hoisted to the top of the bus. I didn't see any kitchen sinks, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was one somewhere on the bus.
It took us two more hours to leave town because the bus stopped every couple blocks so people waiting on the sidewalks could load up more appliances and God only know what else.
Once we started moving it was smooth sailing. I took a 10mg Valium that knocked me out for most of the night. We made one stop on the border near the city of Vihn around 2am or 3am for food and to wait for the border to open.
We crossed out of Laos and into Vietnam around 7am. It took us more than two hours to cross the border and I've never seen such blatant government corruption in all my life.
Getting out of Laos was easy. All passengers from our bus crowded around one window clerk and threw our passports in huge bundles through to him. He never looked up to see who or what he was processing.
Then we were told to walk through the no-man's land to the Vietnam entry point. Upon entering the building we were told to fill out a Medical Quarantine form and submit it with our passport. The government official demanded 2,000 dong or 2,000 kip or 2 dollars before he would give your passport back. The funny thing is that none of these denominations are even closely equal. (2,000 dong = .15 cents/ 2,000 kip= .45 cents/ $2 = 32,000 dong). Not to mention all the money went straight into the offical's pockets.
Once we got our passports back we were told to go around the corner to receive and fill out another official customs form and give our passports again. This time the a separate official demanded $1 before he would stamp your passport and allow you to enter the country.
After that debacle we all boarded the bus again and continued north through the mountains and some serious road construction that halted the bus for another couple hours in the searing heat of the afternoon sun. No AC whatsoever. It was hot. Damn hot! Africa hot!! You could open a widow, but it wouldn't do any good because it was HOT!!!
We made a stop for lunch at a small highway shack around 2pm that provided some comic relief. I ran out of cash and had no money of any kind to pay for lunch. My friends were all running low as well, but my Irish friend Enda said he would lend me a couple bucks to eat.
When the waitress came around to take our orders I jokingly told her I didn't have any money. She laughed, but she still took my order. Plain rice and fried vegetables. When she delivered my food she again asked me if I had money and I said no. I told her I'd wash dishes in exchange for my food, but she didn't really understand.
The time came to settle the bill and she asked me for $2. I told her again I didn't have any money and I started helping her clear the table. She just laughed and told me where to go with all the dirty dishes and used chop sticks. The ladies in the kitchen squatting next to the soapy water basins laughed even harder when I placed all the dishes next to them on the ground and offered to give them a hand.
In the end everyone was laughing so hard at the thought of a foreigner cleaning the dishes that they just let me go without paying anything. I got a few cheers from my companions and even got some laughs from the locals aboard the bus.
Our bus kept trucking down the highway for what seemed like an eternity before we finally arrived in Hanoi about 10pm. A full 28 hours after we left Vientiane.
A hotel employee named Spring boarded our bus and gave us a pitch about her hotel and offered to give us a taxi ride to the center of town if we agreed to just look at her hotel. She was nice and polite and said her hotel had free internet, so we all agreed.
The taxi wasn't big enough for all seven of us, the two Irish girls (Susan & Michel) also agreed to come along, so I was the odd man out. Instead of piling into a van taxi, I got to ride on the back of a scooter for the 11km trip to the center of town. Fun but very scary.
Traffic in Hanoi is chaotic. Scooters, scooters, and more scooters. There are no stop lights, so everyone just cruises through intersections, honks their horn, and avoids everyone in their way. If you're walking across the street, just walk at a steady pace, and the cars and scooters will avoid you. Don't run because the drivers can't judge which way to swerve around you and never ever stop.
Scooters
More scooters
Anyway, we arrived at the hotel and it was nice and cheap. We all checked in and then went for a walk to find some food. After walking all around the lake in the old quarter, we finally stumbled upon a great night market with cheap food.
The night market
Steve (a short lived addition to our group), James, and I chowing down.
We ate well and then came back to the hotel for some much needed sleep.
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